Ellen Roome: “If I Can Help To Save Someone Else’s Life, That’s My Goal”

By Ally Oliver

Ellen Roome is on a mission to support young people’s mental health after the heart-breaking loss of her son, Jools, in 2022. 

It’s a little over a year since 14-year-old Jools Sweeney was found by Ellen, having hung himself in his bedroom. Jools showed no signs of anxiety or depression; he had plenty of friends, wasn’t being bullied, and, typical of most teenage boys, loved gaming. Ellen and Jools talked about everything, and their ‘Pinky Promise’ pledge to tell the truth and be open with each other kept the lines of communication flowing. This made the shock of his death all the greater. 

Since then, Ellen’s life has undergone a dramatic change. In the depths of despair, she is building on her determination to prevent suicide by encouraging teenagers struggling with their mental health to share their worries. Ellen says, ‘I couldn’t save Jools, but if I can help save someone else’s life, then that’s my goal.’ 

‘We will never really know why this happened. My gut feeling is that his death was the result of the ‘blackout challenge’ on TikTok. He wouldn’t have realised the risk he was taking. Social media must change.’ 

Jools made everyone laugh and was a black belt in kung fu by age 10. Ellen says, ‘He was always so polite, helpful, and charming. He was a wonderful son.’ 

In the weeks after Jools’ death, Ellen felt compelled to do anything that might help teenagers and their families dealing with mental health issues. ‘Going through what we have has taught me that many people struggle. One in six children suffer from mental health issues* and I think we really must talk about this.’ 

Alongside Jools’ dad, Matt, Ellen set up a fundraising page (under the name Pinky Promise), the proceeds from which go to PAPYRUS, the UK charity dedicated to the prevention of suicide and the promotion of positive mental health and emotional wellbeing in young people. 

The horror of finding Jools dead that day will never leave Ellen. In the immediate aftermath, she was told that therapy was ‘out of the question’ for at least six months because she suffered from complicated grief and post-traumatic stress.

She says, ‘I’m amazed I made it through those six months. I just didn’t care what happened to me.’ 

Fortunately, Ellen has since found a counsellor specialising in bereavement and experience with suicide. ‘He used to be a first responder in the fire brigade, and therefore witnessed many suicides. So, he could relate to what I’d seen. He is a tremendous help.’ 

Ellen wants to visit schools to speak to children, teachers and parents, encouraging them to talk about their feelings. ‘Whilst I can’t be certain Jools wasn’t suicidal, I now know that there are a lot of children and young adults who are self-harming or suicidal and struggling. I have lost my only child, the most important person in my life, and at times it has felt that I didn’t have a purpose anymore. But now I feel I can help others. I’m surviving for them. I know Jools would be saying “Well done, Mum”.’ 

Ellen’s dedication is already making an impact, and this is just the start. ‘I’ve had countless parents tell me that they’ve discussed the subject with their kids after hearing me speak, and it has opened up all sorts of conversations they wouldn’t have otherwise had. I’ve even spoken to a child who told me that he’d had suicidal thoughts and decided to tell his parents after talking to me.’ 

‘One in six children suffer from mental health issues* and I think we really must talk about this’

The fundraising has only just begun and, at the time of going to press, stands at just under £50k. Ellen has been the guest speaker at various functions, including an audience of over 300 people at the Birmingham ICC, and was interviewed on local BBC radio. ‘I aim to raise £100k this year, and I’m happy to fundraise by whatever means anyone suggests. I am well-connected in the business community [Ellen won the Gloucestershire Businesswoman of the Year Award in 2017], and want to make the most of that. 

‘The local community, Balcarras School and Jools’ friends have also been so supportive. His school year group even made wooden Christmas candle holders and sold those to raise funds. It’s so good to see something positive come out of something so horrendous.’ 

*One in six children aged between 7 and 16 years had a probable mental health disorder. Digital.nhs.uk. 

Ellen shared her story with Attivo Life magazine, where you can find more fascinating articles and useful information and financial lifestyle planning. If you’d like to explore your options for financial planning, our team of Chartered Financial Planners are happy to help to make the process a smooth one. Call us on 01242 585444 or Clientservices@Attivo.co.uk.