Game Changer: Our New Partnership

Words by Ally Oliver

He occupies a unique place in sports fans’ hearts worldwide, and now rugby legend Jonny Wilkinson is joining forces with Attivo, supporting a business that puts clients’ wellbeing front and centre.

Jonny is humble, open and warm, and with no preamble, dives into what he is discovering about life. Unusually for somebody so well-known, he is very comfortable sharing his thought processes. He explains how important faith and trust are for him, even when it feels so easy to justify reacting in the opposite way.
“For me, an inbuilt system in life is letting me in on when I’m not aligned with my true self. Often it expresses itself through my frustration, anger, depression, or, in my case, fear and anxiety. It is life’s way of saying, ‘It’s time to pay attention to what is happening within you, to stop handing over power to the everything around you.’”

For anyone who isn’t aware, Jonny Wilkinson is best known for his perfectly executed drop kick against Australia in the 2003 Rugby World Cup final, the moment that secured his team the Webb Ellis Cup. It was England’s first and (at the time of writing) only RWC win, and it instantly propelled the sure-footed fly-half to superstardom. After a glittering career, he retired from rugby in 2014.

Since then, he has regularly appeared on TV and radio as a pundit and, at the time of publishing, is commentating on the 2023 RWC held in France. He has worked as a rugby coach, developed his own health drink brand in the UK and France, has a successful podcast, a foundation that supports schoolteachers and is involved in several projects such as the work currently being undertaken with Attivo.

This shift in Jonny’s mindset began in earnest after the Rugby World Cup victory when the first of many injuries struck. “I suddenly realised that the fulfilment and joy I was looking for was never going to be found where I was looking for it. I had given everything to achieve my goals, and nothing was changing. I was scared, I didn’t know how I was ever going to make the most of my life.” His long-time coach, mentor and dear friend, the late Steve Black (Blackie) introduced him to motivational speakers such as Jim Rohn and Eckhart Tolle. What Jonny read really resonated with him.

“I have faced crisis moments many times in my life, and maybe there are more to come,” he says. “It’s only when I managed to see that my fear and suffering has always held my greatest opportunity and guidance that I stopped running from them. Then things began to shift.”

Intensely exploring a broad spectrum of different perspectives (as can be heard on his I Am podcast) has had a significant impact on Jonny’s wellbeing. “There came a time where I had to decide to stop trying to control everything. It just causes too much destruction and pain.

“I’ve gone through three stages in my life: When I was very young, I wanted to be the best in the world. When I realised it wasn’t the answer, I decided that being the best I could be was a more balanced fit. It was a worthwhile endeavour but still felt shallow and empty. The third one is the one that’s changed everything. When the stress and struggle became enough. I realised that my only option was to explore all I could be, and I had to mean it. It can’t be a strategy or a ploy. I wanted to uncover who I really am at the core. When I had that epiphany, the game changed, and I knew there was no going back.”

Jonny will shortly be spending time with Attivo clients and the team. Chairman Stephen Harper, in attendance at the photo shoot, has plans to create several bespoke events utilising Jonny’s skills. There is, Stephen believes, an affinity between Attivo’s and Jonny’s values which can enrich and inspire the team and clients alike.

“Jonny changed how rugby is played. He changed how important place kicking is in international rugby, and the coaching he does now with players isn’t about working on their technique. It’s about how they think and feel and his take on life is completely aligned with how we view our role with our clients,” Stephen explains.
“Jonny’s dad used to be a financial adviser, so I feel that this gives him some insight into the sector. Our remit at Attivo is to help the people we serve, and we want to ensure our team has the best support to make that happen. If we inspire them to continue to develop the best listening and coaching skills, they will be able to deliver the best outcomes for clients. However, answering the question: ‘What matters most?’ can be challenging. Jonny will share some of his perspective with clients at special events and explore this through regular video content on our social media and website.”

Jonny’s view is very much in sync with Attivo’s. He says: “I think the key is that you have to truly care about the other person. You can’t cheat this; you cannot use them as a stepping stone to something else. As soon as you do, you lose everything. There is no transformative power in a relationship like that.”

He uses a rugby analogy to demonstrate what he means: ‘If we take our game plan and tactics into the match and lead with these pre-conceived ideas regardless of how the opposition presents themselves, then we 100% miss everything. We learn nothing about ourselves, and we reveal nothing new. We turn our back on all that is beautiful about life.

“Preparation is in danger of becoming like programming for survival instead of a way of creating a brilliant environment to inspire growth. In rugby, great preparation ensures that we are clear in our intention, but it also empowers us to go meet the defence and respond to that in a spontaneously inspired way. We call this playing at the line, and these moments are always when players talk about their best experiences in rugby and how they achieved things they did not know they were capable of.

“In a similar way,” he continues, “going into a meeting with a client or a colleague with an agenda based on your pre-concluded stories of who they are, what success looks like and sticking to them rigidly rather than meeting them at the line will bring about nothing new.

“Opening up in order to connect with them as who and how they are in the present moment and truly listening to what they have to say is what changes lives. Offering another person our complete attention creates the most respectful and caring connection. When people sense that you are truly there for them, that they matter, belong and are valued, that is when defences are dropped, and amazing things happen.”

The sessions with the Attivo team will, he says, be led by the connections he makes and not a teacher/pupil relationship. “I don’t want to trot out something I said two years ago in a different presentation because I’m not the same person that I was two years ago. I have no idea what my own, let alone anyone else’s potential is, so how can I have answers? I’ll sit and wait for what emerges from these fully-fledged and exciting interactions.”

I ask him if it takes much self-belief to work in that way.

“It’s about upping the faith levels. My rugby-playing days taught me that. The next moment is forever undecided,” he responds.

I realise that this brings us back to those niggling thoughts mentioned at the beginning of our conversation – the red flags that appear in life indicating that a change is required. “In times of stress, we often say ‘I wish I wasn’t like this’ or ‘Why do I always react this way?’” Jonny muses. “This is a pattern, and you will never alter it unless you are willing to explore it rather than compulsively react to it. It’s likely to involve discomfort and vulnerability but with a big enough ‘why’, we will find a way.”

Reflection, consideration and openness. Who knew that Jonny Wilkinson’s approach to life could be such a revelation? And his final words hit almost as hard as his famous last-minute drop goal: “Be all you are, right now. It’s the best preparation for your future.”

Sign up to receive Attivo’s Life Magazine here, and stay tuned for more exciting updates in our new partnership with Jonny.